Holy watch where your going batman!!!

Alright today I was cruisin down the highway in my mothers new vehicle going about 60 mph. I see this jogger on the opposite side of the road who looks both ways, see's me coming, and then runs out into the road. At this point I slam on the brakes hoping not to hit a man this day. He gets to the middle of my lane, turns around and jogs in place in the middle of the road and waves me on only AFTER I slammed on my brakes and the anti-lock braking system is thoroughly tested. Scared me to death. I thought for sure I was going to have to call my dad and tell him I wrecked his new car hitting a man.

Moral of the story:
- Don't be a retarded jogger.
- Always buy cars with good brakes
- Don't play chicken on a highway of all places.

Today, the 30th of December

I thought I would make one too.

1. Woke up
2. Exercised a wee bit
3. Ate pancakes
4. took a shower
5. went to work
6. sat at work
7. changed some diapers
8. sat at work
9. sat at work
10. sat at work
11. changed some diapers
12. sat at work
13. took some kids outside
14. brought the kids inside
15. whooped a 8 year old at speed.
16. drove home
17. ate some food.

Pretty exciting day. I'd say one of the top three of the best days.

huh.

i made plans to meet my friend at the library on friday to finish a paper due on monday. then i remembered that friday is January 1, 2010. the library will be closed darn it.

today, the 29th of December

This has been my day:
1. ate cheerios
2. did laundry
3. sorted recycling
4. went to a place, just to find out it was closed
5. got on the computer
6. started reading, but got annoyed with the book and threw it at the wall
7. washed my sheets, but got angry when they were still wet
8. layed on a big pile of pillows and listened to music for half an hour
9. watched iCarly
10. ate food
11. told melissa my life story via telephone
12. scribbled in a notebook
13. played Qwirkle with mom (im pretty sure i won, by the way :P)
14. painted my face twice
15. ate more food
16. watched more iCarly. and some Degrassi but it me upset.
17. ate some chocolate
18. ate some cheese and crackers
19. walked into my room, found it a mess, closed the door, and walked away
20. told myself to work on a paper. walked downstairs, looked at the assignment, crumpled it up, and made a mental note to tell my teacher that my house burned down, losing the assignment sheet and everything i had written.

that was my day. its probably one of the more exciting days i have had this christmas break.

This really did happen.

Where is the National Geographic when you need it!? We were just driving down the freeway when all the sudden two hawks flew up in front of the car and dropped this mouse on the road in front of us! It was crazy! That mouse sure had a bad day. I would be upset if I were the hawk though because I just lost my un-eaten lunch on a busy road.

it needed a title...

Oh Day After Christmas...you smell like old dreams, leftover presents and spoiled children.

Another winner

Another Christmas winner to lift your spirits and help you enjoy the magic of the season.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOQuW4ePexI

Merry Christmas.

Putajkiosidhngical Gardens

last night we went to some fancy shmancy gardens that i dont know that name of. but here is what i want to say: recall for a minute the creepiest looking guy that you know. now multiply his creepy features by about 1 thousand to make an even creepier man. thats the guy that talked to me last night. it was very crowded at the gardens and my arm was hitting people. i almost punched some kid in the face so i pulled my arm in really close to my body. the creepy man, we'll call him Chuck, saw me and laughed really creepily. then he said to the the girl in front of me "i just saw something that could get one chick in trouble with another chick!" does that make any sense to anyone?? it doesnt make sense to me but thats what he said. then Chuck told the girl in front of me that i had made slapping motions at the back of her head. I DIDNT DO THAT. anyway, after that he had this really creepy look on his face like it was the funniest thing he had ever witnessed, and he kept peeping back at us to make sure he didnt miss something else funny!!! what a creep!!! (let me emphasize that this man was CREEPY). just ask bee. he was odd.

Here we be.

So it's Christmas Eve, which comes after Christmas Adam. Tomorrow happens to be Christmas day. People are rushing around doing last minute shopping for their friends, moms, dads, siblings, girlfriends and other significant others they forgot over the last 30 days of available shopping time. Emmy just said the words "I can't believe it's Christmas Eve already" Anyways, here is a little Christmas surprise for all you readers. No, unfortunately it's not a continuation of my sweater collection but it's still pretty good. Merry Christmas. Have a good time with family, friends, eat good food, listen to good music, and remember all the great things you've been blessed with this year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLrFfQ8U1aw&feature=popular

ELMER!

Remember the ghost we were summoning a while ago?? well, he came and i have proof!!!

yippee!!

A few days ago i was lucky enough to be exposed first hand, to the most awful Christmas sweater i have ever seen. Ever. it was hideous. it looked like a mixture of pixie stix, a sad cotton candy accident and something Bill Cosby might actually wear. So in light of that event, and as an early Christmas present to all our readers i have found (and added) a delightful collection of the ugliest holiday sweaters found on google. please enjoy:)


http://zonapellucida.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/ugly-snowman-christmas-sweater1.jpg
- ok this sweater has got to be my favorite. as if random floating Christmas trees weren't bad enough, it adds a snowman peering creepily around one half of your body. ooooohhhhhh yeeaahhh.

http://sethphilpott.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/ugly-santa-christmas-sweater.jpg
- Santa loves this stuff. More than cookies and milk:)

http://thefuntimesguide.com/images/blogs/dog-christmas-sweater-for-dog-lovers.jpeg
- AND for all you dog lovers out there, now your dogs can join in the holiday fun!!!

http://www.keatleyphoto.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/christmas_sweaters.jpg
Isn't this just precious? absolutely. nothing says "I love you" like vomit inducing sweaters and a baby goat.

Lessons from a mixed up mind.

Alcohol and golf don't mix; that's why i don't drink and drive. hahahahahahahaha. Tiger Woods should learn a lesson from that.

Word of the day: fetch
Definition: to cause to come; to retrieve; or to arrive by boat:)
Used in a sentence: I went to fetch some cups while setting the table.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
I played fetch with my imaginary dog

contribute to breanne

word of the day: mommy. definition: loving parental unit... the female one of course. used in a sentence: MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!!!

Word of the day: plump. Definition: drop with force, straight down. Sentence: I hope the 787 does not plump to the ground.

ehem.

i would like to announce that some times it is better to stay away from me, because i can be very mean. i said a very unkind thing to a friend the other day... luckily it was by accident so she forgave me... but what if it wasnt by accident? i could have done some permanent damage! but seriously, i may not look mean, but dont let me decieve you. its like seeing a goldfish with a hidden shark fin. or a shark fin in plane sight, for that matter. its unexpected, but its just pure evil.

i just made myself sound very mean. its not true. most of the time i can be very nice! wow, i just contradicted myself... ok let me explain. you know when you just say "your mom" jokes at the completely wrong time? ok, well that happenes sometimes. so a friend and i were talking about the show "What Not to Wear" and we wanted to put someone in it. my friend asked "who would we put on the show?" and automatically i said "YOUR MOM!" the sad thing is... her mom would be a good person to put on that show. but my friend got all upset so i apoligized perfusely until she believed that it wasnt on purpose. see what i mean? i am just plain awful...

ATTENTION ALL READERS.

You should comment in the little comment box down there what you want us to write about or want to see on this fantabulous blog. Or if you want us to keep writing random tidbits like we currently do.

oooohhh delicioso!!

I made brownies. they smell delicious. also last night i was forced to drive this ancient Honda civic hatchback around. the car is approximately the same age as i am, does not have power steering, had pretty crappy breaks, is a stick shift, and had snow tires on. what a nasty combination. it was freaking hilarious. oh fun times. yeah i dont really have anything to write. i should probably read a book. but really, i just finished a quarter of college and had endless reading so i think i am entitled to a break from reading. maybe thats just me. I don't know. This writers of this blog use extremely poor punctuation and capitalization. If it wasnt for their impeccable grammar, vocabulary, and humor, they would be fired. trust me.

I feel i should just keep writing. If i do, i will continue to waste your time, and maybe have the longest post to date. Except Emmy's random grateful list is pretty long. ok i am probably done.

present wrapping

today i was given the great pleasure of wrapping presents for people who are too lazy to do it themselves. i say pleasure, but what i mean is i was tortured. and the people may not have been lazy. that was a harsh statement. anyway, this old man, like in his 90's in a wheely chair thingy, came up to us carrying this massive vacuum. it was huge! like twice the size of this guy! he wanted us to wrap it... it took almost an entire roll of wrapping paper to cover the entire vacuum. but we did it. i think the man had shrunk by the time we gave his vacuum back. he needed help from two big burly men to carry it back out to his car. his wheel chair couldnt carry the weight. thanks for supporting MHS old man.

My butt is my enemy.

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

This is some good stuff. a wrap up of some of the most important news events from the year 2009. If you're a loyal American, you will watch this. If not....well......this could be offensive so I just won't say anything. J/k.

http://www.break.com/index/this-year-in-auto-tune-2009.html

Ha ha. Btw. I love Lady Gaga.

lifeless!

wanna know something really sad? i have been sitting on the computer waiting for people to reply to me on facebook. they're not replying. i dont think they like me very much. oh wait, i got a reply............ oh dear, its from my stalker. he sent me a message first. do you see how sad my life is? please, all i want for christmas is an adventurous life. not that mine isnt adventurous... but a bit more adventure wouldnt hurt. im not sure this post made any sense.

Facebook

we now have a fanpage on facebook :) be a fan if you arent already, and we will love you with all our hearts. really. it makes us feel special :)

Some Realizations I made today

Read the title. It says all.

1. 14 degrees is very cold.

2. When people are famous I think their taste buds might change so that they only like really really disgusting foods. In my experience rich people only eat nasty foods. When I am famous, I will still eat macaroni and cheese.

3. Bread comes in cans these days. It's true. I saw it at the store today.

4. Advisers give you "advice" that really only makes you more confused and lost than before you sought out their "advice"

5. The "Christmas music station"on the radio plays the same two songs by various artists over and over again and claims to have a great variety.

snoodle.

Today. I. Sound. Like. A. Man.

My nose is running like a fosset. when it's not its stuffed clear to Alaska. my head feels like it might erupt. and my throat feels like sandpaper.

Now that i have thoroughly complained I would like to announce that today has been a overall positive day. I just ate chicken nuggets for dinner, slapped Dallon in the nose, and watched a solid 2 hours of iCarly. which happens to be my favorite show on the television. plus I am getting married to Josh which always reminds me that i am having a positive day.

I still sound like a man.

wowzerss

i saw something today that made my eyes become twice the size of pluto! i was in chemistry and we lit magnesium on fire. it was pretty wicked. know why, know why? because it was pretty much the size of a big balloon. also it was pure white. seriously, im still seeing spots and my eyes are insanely huge because the fire was so white and so bright. it was crazyness.

ADFSJGHKJ DHFJAH DSFJHds - thats the sound of me vomiting

Does this actually look edible to anyone? Holy Mother of Albert Einstein. This is holly disgusting. It's called HEADCHEESE!?!?!!! any guesses what it's made of? yeah don't guess you'll probably vomit....ok I'll tell you. It's bits and pieces of head from either a pig or a calf. First off, who wants to eat "bits and pieces" ummm....sausage and hot dog lovers. thats all I can think of. Second off, who wants to eat a head? only a select few. Third off, who wants to eat jellied 'bits and pieces' of calf and pig head?!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah right. disgusting. absolutely nausiating.

The story of my life.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost

LIES

dallon just told me he was the more like-able one. more like-able according to whom?? i find this a greatly dishonest tale.

Gggrrrrrrrrr

I have hiccups so bad right now I feel like I might throw up.

Gratitude

as we approach the happy day of thankgiving, here is a somewhat silly, but completely true list of things i am grateful for from A-Z:

A- apples (especially bee's carmelized ones... ogres i like to call them)
B- Bee (without whom this blog would be incomplete)
C- chapstick (im feeling a little guilty because i changed this from church to chapstick. but i used burt's bee's just now)
D- diving boards (i gots mad skills on them)
E- eclairs... :)
F- football (watching is better than playing in some cases)
G- grandparents = love
H- humor (bee...)
I- i...ntestines (the first "i" word that popped in to my brain)
J- jelly! and jam! (where would we be? with PB&... nothing else)
K- kazoos! (i went caroling with kazoos today)
L- laughter (which i am lacking at the moment. say something funny)
M- making my list longer than bee's (it makes me seem more grateful :P)
N- not being a boy (*shudder*)
O- open doors... leading dallon and jake outside (good. leave)
P- pottys (but seriously. imagine no pottys... ew)
Q- quail (they scare bee. its quite funny)
R- right hands (i am not cool enough to be left handed)
S- sleep (self explanitory)
T- the secret journal (this is a secret. erase it from your memory)
U- utilities (something useful; a useful thing- dictionary.com)
V- vacuums (clean things up for me baby)
W- water (H2O makes happy people)
X- xylophones (the only "x" word in my brain pretty much)
Z- zippers (they do go things)

happy turkey day!

ta ta ta TAURKEY!!

I felt sad for this blog. no one wrote in it for quite some time:( on the bright side tomorrow is THANKSGIVING!!!! pretty much my favorite holiday of all time. I love family, friends, giving thanks and turkey. here is a small list of things I am thankful for:

1. Emmy with whom I share this blog and a brain.
2. My family which includes a new babe
3. the bird that just stared at me through the window.

Wherefore art thou!

Oh where oh where has my little brain gone? Oh where oh where can it be?!


seriously though...this is getting kind of obnoxious. it's been what 3 maybe 4 and i still don't have a clue where it went to. i checked my shoes. not there. i checked my backpack. not there. the only other option is that it went on extended holiday to Italia. hope it's having fun.

bbbbjuicy butt!!

my juicy butt left an imprint on the piano bench... :[

absolutley no privacy for this guy

me madre just witnessed something that i find quite hilarious. she was standing in her room looking out the window, when behold, an adult male decided that he really needed to pee. he just peed right outside my moms window... hahaha.

Declaration

Let it be known that I LOVE JOSH GROBAN!!!!!!!!!! he and i are getting married 21 October, 2010. its a great date.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!...knickers.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/33830416/ns/today-today_relationships/?gt1=43001

ok this is hilarious. to all the girls out there who read this blog: if a man asks you to buy his panties, your the one!!! please disregard the picture at the top.

except in Nebraska!

this is so great. a fantastic video on josh grobans website of a crazy old computer for only. how much did you guess? $500? $1000?? even more? NO!! only $99!!!! address P.O. box blah blah blah... except in nebraska!!!

I find that coconut juice with coconut bits in th bottom is better than clam juice with clam bits in the bottom.

hey you

uninvited house ghost=annoying. mr. ghostie needs to go away. or quiet down either one.

Crazzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyyyy

So. Crazy things. I was picked up and carried by a very large boy. thats unconventional. but i guess whatever. also. i have guitar lessons. with ms. umbridge jr. staring me down. jerk face.

The coolest video ever invented

I finally got this posted!!! you guys are so lucky that you can finally see it.

p.s. we had way too much fun with the milk carton after filming

p.p.s stay tuned for future episodes

hmm...

today an unknown male personage walked up to me at school. he stood there and stared at me for a whole half minute, and then proceeded to tell me that my sock was untied... :/ is that the way people make friends these days? tell them something bizarre has happened to their clothing items? that is definitely a different approach than what i would have taken.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

If you wanna see the funniest thing ever almost check out the freak out video down there<. it also made my week better. i laughed so hard i fell off my chair.

stinker of a week

This (end part) (wednesday and thursday i guess) week has been terrible. BBBBBBBBLLLLLLARRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!! i dont understand why college has to be so difficult. sure sure let the classes be difficult. i mean we are supposed to learn. but why does paying for college and and credits and transcripts and stinking majors have to be so difficult?! is this some sort of test i am not passing!?!? i dont understand!! but i did hold Havanna yesterday and got a Mika cd which made the week exponentially better by far.

my skills

this is a list of my skills/talents, decided by bee and myself:

1. stirring

2. drizzling

3. wheel barrow pushing

4. distinguishing bedrooms

5. vandalizing

i think thats about all we have come up with... but i gotta say, i feel much blessed to have these wonderful talents on my hands...

kidnapped!!!

today i was kidnapped by two bafoons who carried me out of french class, shoved me in the back of their car, played some very loud and annoying music, and forced me to eat nacho thingies at taco bell!!!! aaah!!! then, when i finally got home, one of them stole my french workbook and wrote GERMAN words all over!!! they ate my food, threw candy corn at me, and braided my hair poorly... :( kidnapping is illigal. dont do it. :D

babies

I love Havanna Jean. she is a beautiful, precious little angel. i am so glad she is a baby and not a toddler. a toddler blinded me today. and called me ugly.... :/ toddlers have no feelings.

Baby times...

Pretty much I witnessed a miracle today when my little niece was born! the girl is a perfect angel.

Once again..

Continuing with random personal hygiene items. Puffy fluffs. really?

blog worthy moment. Some woman came up to me at rei and had me compare the length of 2 of the same exact coat and then said how to do you know when i picked the winning coat

Emmy: dads washing the car windows. Its raining outside... Huh.

We got the frozen toast application toaster!!

Emmy: why does this toaster have frozen toast setting? Do people freeze their toast or is it just frozen bread? Why would you toast bread and then freeze it?!

muahahahaha

Because would anyone buy it if it was irritating?!

Ummm

the house of terror was very cool. very very cool. i screamed a lot. my throat still hurts. legendary clown with chainsaw still has a negative effect. it is still scary. so are little creepy dudes that crouch in the door way so you cant pass unless you walk an inch away from them. aah.

haunted house

bee just told me she had to urinate. it reminded me to pee before i go to the haunted house. yep, thats about all i gots to say.

HAHAHAHAHA

<---- look at those vidoes down there (my arrow doesnt point diagonal, but its supposed to be pointing to the freak out videos.) there are some new ones. that boy will never get married. sad sad.

anyone, anyone?

Hey. So what did you think of drama boy? pretty attractive. pretty darn irritating. pretty short. pretty good at acting. pretty good at being annoying. pretty nice smile. its a good thing we only have like 7 more weeks together. i dont know how much of him i could handle.

Sexiest of '09

who was named planet's pretty woman? i admit, it was me. please, no flash photography.

the awesomest person in the world

emmy is the greatest person on the planet. no one amount to the awesomeness that she illuminates. no one can even come close to the swiftness she posseses

I just witnessed one of the nastiest things ever: solid milk. I picked up this sippy cup held my breath and dumped it out and no joke it came out as one piece of solid nasty who knows how old milk. If it was up to me i would just throw away the whole cup. No amount of washing would ever be good enough.

zzz. snore

i am so sleepy. me and bee rock at singing carolina. lady danville in general we rock at. but we are not as rockin as lady danville themselves. i am so sleepy. did i already say that? oh. well i am. it is 7 o'clock. just 2 more hours till bed time. i almost fell asleep on kyle today. good thing i didnt. he probably would have drawn on me or something. haha. we are making a ghost video. i am soooo excited. "I feel a presence!!!"

woahahahahawwaahh.

I dont know what the above word is supposed to say. ummm...so why are people cranky? it bugs me. a lot. i dont know what i am writing. HJHFSKLANHSKJLVNKJLSNKJLA. school is sometimes bothersome. i cant wait until i am done. guess what? time for GHOST MADNESS 2009!!!!

take a hobo to dinner.

bravo. leaves me speachless.

If I had one day left to live:

first I would give away all my money (except like $100) and get rid of all my things so no one else would have too. then I would do everything I always wanted to do but never did. For example, i would go streaking, and find a hobo and take him to dinner, and pretty much anything else that I felt like doing.

You shirtless potatoe!

Mika is in his underwear.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid31358080001?bclid=3350291001&bctid=30959126001

check this out. this man is the most skinniest, most awesome man in the history of crazy sounds. i loves it lots. just remember: we are golden. always.

I would just like to share this picture with the world. Isn't it great? Isn't she great?

SWIFT!

"what'd you say about subaru's?" "i said swift! like swift subaru! swift as in sweet subaru! sweet! swift! swift exlamation point!!!!" its close, you get the point im trying to put across. bee is hilarious when it comes to yelling at creepy men.

who can answer my question?

so: how does a dead baby cross the road? ya... i heard that today and almost fell off my stool in chemistry. its so ridiculous. sorry for that random tidbit. it was quite humorous at the time.

p.s. if the baby is dead it makes it completley unable to willingly cross the road. on their own of course. now if someone threw it across the road... or drop kicked it... ok no more.

some people.

ok really? some people are just retarded and i am thinking it might be hereditary. really. really? really! did that seriously just happen? yeah i think it might have just happened? wait...really!?!?!

oh the things we say whilest cleaning rabbit cages

today we were talking about ugly bugs that could possibly burrow inside the tiny little pellets so when we take out the pellets the bugs attack! bee said, "when we put the pellets into our... pellet machine it eats up the bugs!" what the heck is a pellet machine bee? care to explain? i think she was talking about the pellet stove. but it was funny.

Mom:Yes they are big creatures

Breanne:There were 3 huge racoons that just crossed the road! They are small dogs!

One step in the right direction!

so i started it by saying "hey, can you pass this forward please?" and smiling. today was a big day because he turned to me and said "hey, want me to hand your paper forward?" that was a big deal to me. i said "yes please! thanks!" and smiled again. we are making progress here :) that story was for you bee, i thought you might want to hear it. i will tell of much larger progress when the time comes. plus i am not shy at all. today i made 3 new friends. yesterday i made 2. tomorrow i will make many more. yay me. oh, plus plus. chocolate pudding does not taste ok with fishie crackers. no. pretzels is a much better choice. ok thats all.

I'm gonna borrow a line here

I keep hearing the ghost in the attic making noises. Let me just say when i find you itsa ova!!!!

Some people...

It's true Ems some people are just plain awkward. like hot tub texting guy. or that guy...sick a gigantor spider outside my window just caught a gigantor fly. and now he is eating it. um anyways, as I was saying, or that guy who intentionally makes things awkward just for the sake of being awkward. EDDIE MOORE!!!! thats you.

people are awkward

it is hilarious to tell people they are awkward. especially if its true because then they dont know what to say back so they say something else awkward to prove the point! haha. but seriously, its so weird talking to them...

Its an indian summer.

I am mean,

I accidentally swore at a babe today. i felt bad. all i wanted was for him to stop crying so i could focus of three other crying babes.

september 9th!

its been a while. huh. well i am sitting here with my birthday crown on... well i was until sydni took it off my head! ok, she put it back. thats good. anyway, school starts tomorrow. sophmore year! i'm kind of scared, but excited at the same time. i have a lot of friends that are coming into the highschool as freshman and i get to make fun of them!! just like my junior friends made fun of me my freshman year. i will call them names and bully them and not give them any information about school!!! i will be the meanest sophmore of them all!!!!! muahahahaha!!! my freshman friends should not be given any special treatment!!! ..... ok i will be nice to them... i still get called sophty by my junior friends. not nice. *sniff* on the bright side! i am 15 today!!!! yipee! ok, good bye friends.

This is an odd moment. I am sitting in my car with my mom in the dark watching the fair lights and listening to Josh Grobans Awake. The two dont really mix but they sort of describe my life at the same time.

Ahh classical

I am listening to some sweeto classical music right now! I'm looking for a duet to play on the piano with Bee... not as easy as it sounds. Some of these are kinda lame. Lame sauce! Except classical music is relaxing. If ever there is a day when your life feels like it just took a left turn down crappy street then go turn on some classical music, not that hard rock stuff that makes your brains want to fall out of your ears if it is turned on loud enough. No, that doesn't help on hard days. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Besides, according to this site, classical music can help electricity! How does that work? would anyone care to explain? It sounds cool, but I'm not buying it. Sorry url anonymous.

this is why I love my family

this is an anonymous comment from one cousin to another

i seriously want my check deposited in my account. or i'll call the cops.

pretty much one of the funniest things i have read.

um...ok...is it just me?

THE FAIR WAS SO WEIRD WITHOUT SHOWING ANY STINKIN ANIMALS!!!! it was odd being able to just walk around without any obligations to go feed rabbits, or scrap poop off cages, or go do judging or do herdsmanship, or sit at the uncool petting table while people come up and jab my rabbit and ask me ridiculous questions, or tell people to stop poking there dang fingers in the rabbit cages. yeah i didnt much like it. i need to become a 4-H leader or something.

miss universe 2009

oh miss universe... like miss USA isn't enough. 19-year old Stefania Fernandez takes the magnificent title home to Venezuela for the second year in a row. who has time for that? how is the universe suppose to realize that this girl is miss universe? are there people on mars just waiting to hear about the splendid girl who is named after the universe? and check out the size of her mouth!!! i wouldn't be able to open my mouth that wide if someone tried to pry it open with... prier openy thingies... but there are no pictures of her where she is bawling and fanning herself with her hand. that is too bad. i really like it when they do that! especially when miss congeniality does it! anyway, all girls that are reading this, i encourage you to try for miss universe. and dont forget to fan yourself with your hand if you cry :)

iCarly=pretty much my favorite show ever!

re-quoting myself

i used my own quote today. that sounds really stupid, but its true. this quote: "thats not even a laugh... quit choking on your own saliva!" i said it in the movie theater. well, so did bee because she heard it too. there was a man at the movies who randomly made this awful noise! it sounded like a snort so my first conclusion was that it sounded like a pig. but the more i thought about it the more whalish the noise became. i decided that it was a mating call for whogle (a mix between a whale and a hog.) oh, but the noises didnt end there! when this person laughed everyone was thinking the same thing: seal, elk, or moose? and who is killing it? then bee and i yelled, "thats not even a laugh! quit choking on your own saliva!" and all was silent.

Idahooooooooooooooooooo!

Here we are home from Idaho. That was a short trip. i sincerely hope that those quotes are enjoyed. they are pretty much hilarious in my opinion! Shout out goes to my cousin Camille who wins the best cousin award because she reads this blog and because she votes for my picture daily thereby single-handedly trying to secure me money for college. thats more than the rest of you can say. Go Camille! so Idaho was pretty awesome. played some b-ball, bought some stuff, ate some food, and hung out with some family. good times.

Its not even a laugh...stop choking on your own saliva.

Its not even a laugh...stop choking on your own saliva.

That was a strange happening...

Milk makes you thirstier than any other beverage!

He spoiled his trousers because he fell over cow dung!

We are crossing the gobi river here in a minute...

Hello. This is emmy right now. Bee is driving and is doing a dandy job of it. The fam has been snoozing it up in the back seats while bee and i have been having a jolly time in the front. Enjoy some of the good quotes we used on our journey!

Look look! A soil cone!

snarky!

Oregon is the land of eternal road work

You're not the only one that can hare it home you sad little man!

Yes, i would like to announce that i work in a dirt factory for a living.

I mistook that young lad for a teddy bear.

We have been slugging it all the way home and yet the truck behind us seems to want to hare it home. Good luck with that semi man!

Emmy just scared a semi truck driver with her face

This is the soundtrack of my life.

What are you, a jerk?

Waiting in a nasty long in walmart i came up with some conclusions: 1. I would marry Colin Firth even though he is older than my dad. 2. I need to learn a forgien language so that i can talk in stores and people cant understand me and 3. Retarded people work at walmart

Waiting in a nasty long in walmart i came up with some conclusions: 1. I would marry Colin Firth even though he is older than my dad. 2. I need to learn a forgien language so that i can talk in stores and people cant understand me and 3. Retarded people work at walmart

I miss my sister Emmy. Listening to mamma mia today was terrible without her. And i just got really sick at work. Gross.

I just saw a strange man get arrested on the way to work. Huh...

while there was no title for unexcitement, there cannot be a title for writing about pure awesomeness

i went to the river three times this week. in a row. i think that would be my good luck for next week. all three times i went with two of my best friends, Melissa and Dom. the first time it was just us three. that was a completely wicked adventure! fun fun! the second time it was us three plus Jason, who is my new best friend because we had a rock fight and bashed our "friendship triangle." and i tackled him in the river, resulting in him trying to drown me after i jumped off the wall. the third time it was melissa, dom, bee, and me and a bunch of other people who joined us there after about 20 minutes. on thursday i realized that dom smells very very good. so i stole his shirt. melissa stole his shirt on thursday, and i stole his shirt again on saturday. hehe. yep, so all three times were pure awesomeness. which is why this did not have a title.

there cannot be a title for lack of excitement

i am dreading this week. girls camp... ugh. everyone at church is all yippidy about it, but i am not. "yay i love girls camp its so much fun!" -every girl there (except me). "yay, why dont you just throw a brick at my head, cover me in applesauce, and tie me to a fish that will be soon eaten by a shark?" -me. that is my bad attitude eating me alive again. when i was packing i think i forgot to put my happy face in my bag. everyone might see my unenthused face, which would make every living girl at church hate me. i suppose i should pack my good attitude... for everyone elses sake of course.

Blank

So i think I almost died in church today. At least if I died there I would be guaranteed a spot in heaven. Seriously though it almost happened. I was hungry and the room was stifling hot, and i was tired but also fidgety at the same time. Woo glad that's over.

So today was pretty much a good day

And now I am falling asleep writing this dang blog. I look like i got attacked by a wicked tiger. Fo reals yo. it was pretty much an epic fight and i am sad you missed it. First the tiger struck my arm and it was very upsetting so i poked him with a stick. then he got down right angry and threw his left paw at my knee, claws out and everything. You jerk tiger. No really though despite the wicked tiger attack it was a good day. Kayak, river, soccer, jumping from things at the river, fruit leather, more fruit leather, yogurt pretzels, MIB, delicious watermelon, losing my keys at the beach while kayaking, having Kyle find my keys at the beach while kayaking, and driving a stick shift for the third time in my entire life. I could die now and be happy. and i might because i am so tired.

drip, drop, drip, drop...

That is the sound of me melting because it is so stinkin hot outside. All of me is just melting away into nothingness. or its evaporating. I don't know which. Melt, melt, melty melt. There I go!!

snaggletooth!

Is Snaggletooth a name? Because last night my little sister got all upset and started bawling her eyes out because Bee called her Snaggletooth. I was a wee bit confused so I said, "she yelled snaggletooth! that's not even a name, just a bizzare word!!" and my dad said we were making fun of her because we had a low self esteem. As if yelling Snaggletooth is gonna boost the esteem level any. And i had to apoligize to sydni for participating in her humiliation. Bee's apology wasn't very sincere because she was laughing her head off the whole time. Way to go Bee.

Things get a little scary.

So yesterday my friend Paul totally hit a pedestrian. yeah it was pretty scary because he texted me right after it happened. Weird part is that spencer goes and blames me for the accident because i was talking to Paul. Excuse me. not at the time i wasn't! I was at the river from approximately 3:07 p.m. to 5:26 p.m. during which time i did not have my phone and was certainly not texting for I was covered in water and sand and muck. yeah so take that mr.smarty pants.

Guess who went to the river?

I did not jump off the bridge. I wasn't planning on jumping off the bridge. But after watching people jump off the bridge, I decided it looked like a thrill! I was not too far away when I watched them jump. I should have been helping Ashlee, who was pulled under by the current. But I got distracted when I heard a "WOOHOO" and looked over to see a flying man who landed under the water not far from me. hmm. It was odd.

Buahahahaha...I love working with kids.

Ok so today the funniest thing ever happened. Pernille was sitting at the table talking about her upcoming trip to New York City and Denmark when she goes "there's this candy called boobs, like (pointing to her chest) like boobs!" ok. that actually happened. after trying my hardest not to pee my pants from laughter I told her we shouldn't talk like that at school. too late. by this time a whole room full of 3 to 5 year olds were having a great conversation about boobs including one girl who turned to her neighbor and goes "can i see your boobs?" ha ha kids I love you!!!

Here's another story.

Once upon a time there was me. Bee. And Bee hated traffic almost more than anything in the world. i hate just sitting in parking lot traffic when you know very well that it does not take 1 whole hour to drive a drive which normally takes about 30 minutes. On a happier note... I love my job! There is this little girl that came up to Nani (the other lady who teaches) and goes "when i lived in Russia I used to poop in the front yard without clothes on!!!" Ok ok back up! I know for a fact that you never lived in Russia and i certainly hope you wouldn't poop in the front yard with your clothes on. crack me up. i want some wheat thins.

Wanna hear a story?

Here's the story: my friend Caylin had belly button surgery. uh-oh! Apparently she had it a couple weeks ago and the shock of the surgery was too much for her to handle, putting her in a coma for a week. I went over to see if she was okay, and the sound of my voice woke her up from the coma. That's the story. Here is how we used the story. We discovered a TextFree thing on Caylin's ipod so we texted Dom. The conversation wasn't moving along too quickly so we jazzed it up a bit by telling him that story. He believed it! For a while anyway, but he was having a hard time believing that she was in a coma... ya, what fool goes into a coma because of belly button surgery? caylin does.

Life as I know it

Life as I know it was almost snatched from beneath me! See, I woke up at 6:30am to go look at some tide pools at the beach. It was very cool, except for the fact that the fam forgot to mention all the billions of starfish underneath my feet! They were all just sitting there waiting for me to make one wrong move, and fall into a hole full of starfish where I would be eaten alive... I shall learn to be more cautious in the future.

Once again...WE ROCK!!!

Me and Emmy on our crazy trip to the Hoh Rainforest on the Washington Peninsula. See how awesome we are? Do you see that? Plus look how fantastic we look while we are camping! You never would have guessed we were camping would you?

WWWEEEEEEEEKKKKEEEENNNNDDDDD!!!

Wow. awesome weekend. I love the fam so much. we are hilarious. I am so glad that Nessy decided to relocate her homeland to the Pacific Northwest. Its much better. And also all my time spent on Indian Reservations has cemented my opinion that I am part Native American. QUESTION: has Stephenie Meyer ever actually been to Forks? that place as Spencer lovingly stated "is a butt hole" so why in the world would anyone voluntarily write a story that takes place there? plus the way she described it is nothing like how it actually is. Plus there was a hobo running down the street without pants. I found a peg leg, I found a peg leg!!! he he.

And I quote.

Dude Nick you sound like such a man right now and not a little boy!!!

Blahahahaha

I HATE FOLDING LAUNDRY!! just thought I would throw that out there. Hate it with a flaming passion. I also hate the smell of my feet right now. Like foot sweat and dirt and rubber. I dunno where the rubber came from but they smell weird. Ok today I was driving a Suburban through the parking lot at Fred Meyers going like 5 mph. Anyways this old dumb lady totally walks out in the road without looking where shes going and from behind a giant truck and then freaks out when I had to stop pretty fast. I think she probably peed her pants. But then she gave me this death glare like it was my fault. I was thinking seriously lady, you're about to die anyways so are you trying to get it over with quicker? Stupid old lady...

street streaking

Today I was in the house and my mom comes in and yells "MIKAELA!!! come outside and do something worthwhile! you are almost 15, you need to do something with your life!" What the heck am I supposed to do? So I went outside, rode a scooter through my neighborhood (it can't get any better than that, right?), ran through the sprinkler with Bee, and then this was decided: I shall go streaking! What is streaking, one might ask? Well, good question, seeming as I didn't know either. But this is a brief explanation. Take off all your clothes and run around!! HAHA! Brilliant, right? It was agreed that I could keep my underwear on, because we do have small children for neighbors. So, yes. As soon as it is dark enough to be called night, that is what will be happening at my house. What a great thing to do with life...

a little bit of heaven

oh billy brown lived an ordinary life. 2 kids, a dog, and a precautionary wife! everything was going according to plan, then billy brown fell in love with another man!
suckin too hard on a lollipop, o, love's gonna get you down. momma told me what i should know, too much candy gonna rot your soul. if she loves you, let her go! cause love only gets you down.
these are only two of the great lines of lyrics from those fantastic songs that we just rocked the house down with. its true, you should have seen it. those were some rockin moves, not gonna lie.

freakin orange!

this weekend i went to camp. a lovely experience, dont get me wrong. but oddly enough i came back looking like a fool. let me make this easier for you to picture. say i went to a high spirited football game (at this point it would be okay to assume that the football team color is red). oh dear, it looks like i forgot to paint half of my face red! a bad analagy, i know, but the moral of my story is, if you are sitting in the sun for three hours, and the sun is on the left side of you, dont forget to put sunscreen on the left half of your body or you will look like the beginning of a checkerboard. oh, and dont forget. when the time comes dont wear an orange shirt or it will look like someone got hungry and decided to PEAL AN ORANGE!! yes, its true.

ummmm....ok?

Ok weird things happened today. Driving home from home Bellingham there was this giant truck with an oddly wrapped package in the back and Brittany goes: hey what is that? and I said: Ummmm it looks like a bike. and Brittany goes: it looks like a lady stretched in freedom. At this point we drove past the truck with the oddly wrapped package and at the same time go: WHAT THE HECK!?!?!?!!!! IT'S A GIANT DEER!!! the antlers were probably the size of my bedroom. and they were the odd things poking out of the packing. I expected to see something like that in Montana or Colorado or Wyoming, but really Washington?

eh?

i dont recall that song! maybe i need to listen to some more mika and become more learned in the area of his lyrics! i was actually expecting this: (odd indian accent) same day i find place for wedding, same day, when i warnt married, what happened? he went and married another girl. i cant walk, like God took my legs. how he married different lady, i dont believe.
that is all i would like to share. you know what comes next but if you would like me to continue, please, just let me know!

I am just blown away...

...by our awesomeness!!!!

Tasty, tasty...

First off:
1. I never steal your socks because mine are safety pinned together so I know which ones are mine. AND
2. You lie about me never letting you drive the car.

i would much rather not drink either dishwasher soap or eat soap, but I guess if it really came down to it I would eat a bar of soap. as long as i got to pick which soap it was! i could imagine that drinking dishwasher soap taste sort of like drinking pee which i really don't ever want to experience.

ok you have to respond to these lyrics:
You got a dangerous obsession
Now i'm in need of some protection
that was never my intention
used to love me now you hate me

say i drove you crazy
if i did you made me
wont somebody save me from you now?

randomly obnoxious acts

there are probably a number of reasons why i would want to punch someone as delightful as you, bee. i'll make a list:
1. just to say that i have the guts to do it!
2. because sometimes when you get mad not even a mad cow would want to be around you
3. sometimes you steal my socks.
4. i am jealous of your piano skills
5. you have nicer clothes than me sometimes. and i want them.
6. you never draw me cool pictures of dinos anymore
7. you dont let me drive the car!!!
thats about all i can think of at this point. dont worry though, if i come up with some more i will be sure to add them on the list!


Bee: would you rather eat a bar of soap or drink a bottle of dishwashing soap?

this List this List!!!

About 19 Things to do before I die:

1. Become a UFC fighter.
2. go para sailing
3. jello wrestle in a small kiddie pool
4. climb the water tower again and eat push-up pops on top
5. go to London and dance in the rain
6. kayak the Rio Grand
7. ride on the back of an ultra hot motorcycle with and ultra hot man driving
8. trek around the world with only the things I can fit in a small backpack
9. do a legit joust. the whole 9 yards horse, suit of armor, giant wooden sticks...
10. develop my Hero powers and bend the time space continuum
11. drive a Bugatti Veyron 'is for fun
12. tag team with Nacho and Eskeleto
13. invent an air freshener that is a mixture of Reeses Pieces, nasty chicken, dirty socks, vanilla lotion and Logan air. So pretty much college air.
14. smash a guitar on stage after a rockin concert
15. have Josh Groban on speed dial
16. participate in an Iron Man race
17. weave a purse on a loom
18.live in a tree house
19. punch Tom, Katie, and Suri Cruise all in the face

Emmy: why would you want to punch me?

Tube socks

currently i am wearing clothes that consist of jean shorts and a sport fishing t-shirt. this is not my favorite outfit but it most definitely comfy! my favorite outfit is quite interesting, actually. this is how the outfit came to be: once upon a time i was walking around the house. at the time i was wearing pj shorts, which probably revealed not only my knees, but most of my thighs. i walked past the couch and at that moment spotted my socks! socks, i might add, are an extremely important part of my wardrobe. i have about 50 thousand pairs of silly knee highs, toe socks, and more. anyway, the socks that i came by were hot pink, knee high, and stripped! i put them on. they looked hot with my shorts. i continued wandering the house and suddenly my yellow sweatshirt was in front of me. i put that on as well. as time went on i found my black necklace, my orange gloves, and to complete the outfit, a bright blue ribbon for my hair. so, it came to pass that this was my favorite outfit: pj shorts, bright funky socks, yellow sweatshirt, black necklace, orange gloves, and blue ribbon. the end.


bee, write about 19 things to do before you die.

to Start this Off

To start this blog I am writing about the random things that happened to me today.

1. I walked outside to get the car and go to work when I suddenly noticed that my car was absolutely covered in bird poop. It was disgusting. And when I say covered I really mean covered.

2. This little 3 year old was reading a spider book at work when she yells "SPIDERS POOP!!!" Stella in response yells "DUH EVERYBODY POOPS!" apparently Stella is getting good use out of her potty training books.

3. These two little girls looked at me and said "you have something on your face" and started poking me. What they didn't know is that it is called skin.

4. I found out that my sister-in-law is having a girl. Her name shall be Havanna Jeanne.

5. My sister-in-law and I stood in front of the cabbages for a full 5 minutes debating the differences between green and purple cabbages when it comes to making egg rolls before calling my mom to decide for us.

6. I paid .13 cents for a single carrot.

Yep. That was the day today. They don't always get this good, I just got lucky today.