its garbage day

So, as I am sick again, there is not much I can do except lay around being lazy and thats not much of a contribution to society so I decided to blog. Which clearly is a contribution to society. Especially this blog. So I think I scarred a kid for life today when I ran from the room vomiting. It was pretty awesome. Anyways as I have nothing better to think about I turned to my trusty search engine to find 20 questions you should always ask on a first date! some of these surprised me... a lot.

1) What is the sort of relationship you are looking for and why
2) What do you think is the biggest mistake that men/women make in their relationships?
3) What are the qualities of your ideal relationship
4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
5) What scares you the most about opening your heart to your partner?
6) Has any book or movie made an impact on you?
7) What is the most annoying thing that someone could do to you?
8) If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
9) What do you like to do for fun?
10) What is the biggest mistake that people make on a first date?
11) What do you look for in a guy/ girl?
12) Define a truly successful relationship
13) What happened with your last relationship?
14) What were your life-changing moments?
15) What is the weirdest thing about you?
16) Are you cheap or thrifty?
17) Which is the one book that has really impressed you?
18) Would you have plastic surgery done on your body?
19) What was your most embarrassing moment?
20) Tell me about your family/ best friend

I hope this makes dating a little easier for some of you readers:)

There are no comprehensible words for this.

This is terrible.

ohmygoshthisishilarious!

Ok I looked up "ugly dogs" on google images. This is what it came up with. I laughed so hard I nearly woke the baby up. It's just one of those things.

the terrible thing

So over a period of about a week I have played a relationship counselor to a myriad of people, some of whom are entering relationships and some who are leaving them. I am happy to announce that the people entering relationships are happy and those who left them are about as good as can be expected. So don't get me wrong, I love helping people out, but the terrible thing about this is people move on and pretty soon they don't need you anymore. Which means you are left without a hobby. Which means you have to find a new hobby. Which sucks. That's why I envy dead people sometimes. They're dead.

darn you phillip

Phillip davis has me addicted to the song Kiss from a Rose. it reminds me of the rainbow store with the crazy, tight shirt wearing, smoking asian man who owns it. :) i really have nothing to say, because today was certainly nothing worth blogging about. but i got some phish food ice cream from my wonderful mother who loves me very much. and bee almost hit a crow with her car, which made me laugh. thats all.

Hello. I really honestly have nothing good to say. Today I have consumed mass amounts of licorice which is both good and bad. Good because it's a party in my mouth, bad because, well if you saw the size of the bad I ate you would know. So Emmy broke her nose. It's pretty amazing (and swollen). Her story is really lame though so in honor of her I am making a list.

Cool ways to break your nose:
1.Fall of the back of a quad/dirt bike/motorcycle
2. have a parachute malfunction
3. get attacked by ninjas

face pulse

hello. i broke my nose. 'tis true. it's owie. i tried to be awesome, but i failed. this is what happens to not awesome people when they try to be awesome. :( pain. my nose is the size of a rocket (just ask Bee, she's the one that told me) and i have a strange heart beat coming from my face. it's abnormal.

I failed to think that there would be consequences to washing your face upside down. However there are, and its called a brain full of water!

I'm lame.

So it's been mentioned that I haven't blogged for awhile. This is true. To make up for it I have many exciting things for you. Accidental rhyme. Happens all the time. First, in New York City they are opening a naked yoga studio, all I had to say about that was now people don't have to hit up strip clubs. Second, the more I work with children the more I know Octomom is a nut case. Third, my mind keeps going back to naked yoga. That's one way to brighten your day. Or maybe not brighten it so much. Can you imagine a move like this being performed by someone in the nude? You probably don't want to either, at least I know I don't. I have some questions about this. Is it legal? How sanitary is this practice? Who in the world will go there? And really isn't this pretty much the same thing as a strip club? I say indecent exposure. That's all.

BEE

I don't know why miss bee is not blogging. She has plenty of funny things to say, of this I am sure. So Bee, blog.

Put me and emmy in a kitchen together and what do you get? A kitchen, pants, and shirts full of flour.